Coconut Oil, Sewing, Beyonce Runs

Two more weeks of cheerleading and then I can finally refocus some of my time to my long term goals I need to spend time on! Here are some of the things I have been doing in my "free time". 

Coconut Oil Hair Mask
I love doing hair, face, hand masks etc. but they tend to be expensive when you want to buy the really nice stuff. So I decided to give a Pinterest one a try as it was super simple and I had all the necessary ingredients: coconut oil! I combed the oil through my dry hair until it was completely saturated with it. My hair looked wet but it didn't feel heavy like wet hair. I let it sit for about 30 minutes and then took a shower and used shampoo only on my hair. I used a blow dryer to see what it looked like just in case it didn't rinse out nicely I wanted to be able to rewash it before work tomorrow :) As I was putting it in my hair it dripped a little onto my back and shoulders so I just rubbed it in, then it felt so nice i rubbed it into my elbows and knees and feet! It was so nice! Then in the shower I rubbed it all over my legs from my hair and used it to shave, it was wonderful! I am planning to keep a jar of coconut oil in my shower from now on. I didn't need to put on any lotion after my shower and I normally have the world's crunchiest nastiest flaky dry skin ever. It was so nice. Here is a pic of my "after" hair not that it does the experience any justice. :)

Next, I finally finished my stitching project I started months ago... sorta. I wanted to sew the route Mark and I drove on our honeymoon into a map of the USA. I am planning to add in all the road trips we ever take together. I covered the route with scotch tape on the back side of the map so that the stitches would hold. I finished all of the stitching but now i need to steam or iron it some that it will lay flat. I am also not sure if I will frame it somehow to keep it cat proof. :)

Lastly I went on an outdoor run today, the first of the year technically. It was chilly about 36 degrees, but it was so sunny that I didn't really notice. I bundled up a bit and turned on my Beyonce and just went on an adventure! Poor Mark was sick in bed and I am not good at being quiet...ever... so I went outside to get my wiggles out. It was really fun, I ended up going about 5 miles just all over town and checked out some neighborhoods around where I live to see what kinds of homes were for sale (hopefully we will be buying this summer/fall). It was definitely more challenging than the treadmill but also a lot more exciting. I'm looking forward to being able to this in the summer when it is much warmer outside!

Mom jeans, God and teenagers

So I must begin by sharing another blog I found about how "cool" stores are actually tricking many of us into mom jeans. In other words "Gap and Old Navy sell Gateway Mom Jeans". I know that I have been wearing high(ish) waisted, not that cool pants my whole life but I never really thought there was any other way, I just thought I was a "tomato on toothpicks" kind of build so all pants were going to be short on my legs and strangualting my tummy. :) I guess I should have just considered other brands. Here is the link to a great blog: 

http://www.graspingforobjectivity.com/2012/07/gap.html

This week I started listening to a book on disc (yep I do this a lot and its not cheating it is still as legit as reading but who has time in their week to sit with books for extended periods of time, not this girl). This book is Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. This book was recommend by many people but my inner stubborn quasi feminist had a very hard time dealing with the word "respect" for awhile. But now that I am in my first year of marriage and finding each day how much work and decoding goes in to keeping a relationship healthy and happy I am always looking for research and resources on this topic. The book has been so interesting and it literally has me in tears as well as laughing out loud within each 15 minute span I get to listen to it on my commute to and from work. I wish I had heard this or read it in high school. I feel like I could have better communicated with a lot of people and probably have been a better daughter/friend/companion. Essentially Eggerichs explains that a woman's most deep desire is to be loved and a man's most deep desire is to be respected and that when that most inner need is being met they are the happiest. When I first heard that I blew up and thought "I NEED and deserve and work hard for respect too", and "How arrogant to think a man needs respect more than love from me". Obviously that is the sort of thing that happens when you only read the title of a book and not the rest of it. There was a survey that he put out while compiling his research and one of the questions was: "If you must choose one of the following which would you prefer to endure? 

a) to be left alone and unloved in the world 

or

b) to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone

Immidiately I thought who would pick the second one, that doesn't even sound so bad, I'm not even exactly sure what it means. But to be alone and unloved, ugh I know I could not survive very long in this world at all feeling that way. I'd feel like crawling under a bridge and dying. Amazingly to me 74% of men chose the second option! what?! And I posed this question to Mark as well and he quickly responded he would rather have (b) as well. I never imagined that men could feel the same way about respect as I feel about love, like I couldn't survive without it. Of course all men and women need both, but we each hold one of those higher than the other and when it is threatened we react very harshly to it. Typically as the woman if you feel that you are being treated in an unloving way you will react with disrespect, sometimes without even realizing it, and as a man who feels disrespected, he will react in unloving ways sometimes without even realizing it. It has really been convicting to think about not only what I say but how I say it. I am sure that since I have been about 13 I developed eyes that can roll like you wouldn't believe and a sharp tone of voice that can be crushing and devastating as well as a secret decibel of speaking that allows me to express what I m feeling so that someone else only hears bits and pieces so they cannot tell what I am saying exactly. I never knew I had all of these hidden "talents" until having them pointed out to me once I was married. Of course as a teenager my parents would tell me how rude and disrespectful I was being but at the time that just seemed like parent talk and that they would say that about anything. The more I considered this and then read this book I began to see just how unappealing being married to a teenager seemed. I am sure my husband does not like getting eyes rolled at him or listening to me sigh or spout off exactly what I am feeling in the heat of the moment. Nobody else in the world treats him that way. Even if my feelings are justified there has to be a better way to communicate them without out the disrespectful tone and body language. I used to think that those tendancies are just part of what makes me "me" but I would not tolerate that kind of excuse from him to not show love to me so I can clearly see that it takes discipline and effort to develop more positive tendencies.  There is too much in the book for me to clearly articulate in a blog post but I recommend reading it for any one single or married! It has really opened my mind to new ways to communicate. 

Speaking of teenagers or kids in general...  I am finding working with my 13 and 14 year old cheerleaders is an important, challenging and rewarding task. When I think about these girls having their deepest needs of love met in order to be healthy and happy I think about how many of them have good relationships with their fathers and how many of them are being uplifted and encouraged at home. I hope that I can help to build these girls up to value themselves and help them to build a strong moral foundation in which they use to begin high school next year. It is no wonder that girls so easily find men boys in all the wrong places who on the surface appear to show girls love and adoration which is instinctually what they crave, just to find that they are disposable to many of these guys. It would be very easy to fill their lives with one night stands or crappy guys because it is a quick fix to feel some type of love.  Similarly, I think of the young boys I teach in my classes and about how even at a young age they are developing a need for being respected and wanting to lead. If they are constantly being belittled, criticized and having their manhood challenged and never truly given the opportunity to lead or be applauded for their efforts its no wonder they turn to crime/ domestic abuse/ affairs later in life because these are quick fixes to rebuild their ego (not that I am justifying any of those behaviors). I am becoming quite a mother hen, sorry to bore all of you with how much I want to adopt all of my students and cheerleaders and build them up to prepare them for healthy relationships. Just my rant...

Happy weekend to all! :) 

This Week

Remember that one time I was starting a blog and it was going to help me be accountable and to keep up with all of the stuff I want to change for the better in my life? :) Yeah yeah I never committed to frequency though. I need to streamline some things in life to make more time for reflection. I pretty much go non stop through my days or else it is the weekend and I sit around in pajamas and work REALLY hard at doing nothing. I am going to try harder to wake up earlier each day to get my reading, listening and blogging in. I survived the start to cheerleading season in January and now I am in more of a routine and feel like I will make it through February without a problem! I have had more luck with staying active although I will admit I am putting off long distance running until I can commit more time during the week to my shorter runs. But the strength training and random Pintrest workouts have been keeping me feeling strong and interested in going to the gym.

Here is something else that has helped me get things together. Fridge organizer!

Planning out dinners which the leftovers of are also lunches the Sunday before the week helps me to feel like things are ready to go so when I get home from work I don't have to stare at the cupboards and groan. Here are some things I've made recently:

 Assorted veggies: Zucchini, Carrot shavings and tomatoes sauteed in coconut oil and seasonings

 My first Frittata! Zucchini, sweet potato, bacon and onion

 Happy birthday wonderful husband! These aren't super healthy but they are delicious peanut butter banana bacon cupcakes. i made them in cupcake form and had Mark take the to work as "birthday treats" so that we didn't spend the whole week slowly consuming an entire cake. :)

This has to be one of my favorite things I have ever made. It is a Thai chicken coconut curry soup!

Also, I have been developing a better understanding and appreciation of the gospels in the Bible. Previously, my favorite books of the Bible were ones such as Revelation, Ecclesiastes, Proverbs, Psalms, Acts, Song of Solomon and and occasional sprinkling of 1&2 Corinthians. Mostly because they were extreme, profound, struck a chord in me or were just feel good books. However, my church is currently going through a year long study of the life of Jesus which focuses heavily on the chronological life of Christ in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Also in our small group Mark has been leading a study of the New Testament. So there has been much overlap over the last several weeks. It is so funny how you think you know what things were like in Bible times.... and by that I mean so much of what I thought about the culture, events, government of that time, etc. were pretty far off. Having a strong historical background of the Bible and its history and development through time has really challenged and strengthened my faith. And it is exciting! And hard work. 

Fun things about marriage: 

Mark walked in the door today from work and gave me a squeeze but then did the lookin' around thing avoiding eye contact with me and not being the first one to speak which drives me irrationally crazy and I immediately jumped at him to correct his behavior while I spouted off "I don't understand why I keep trying to teach you things but they never seem to take!?" And he responded "I feel the same way", and I asked what the heck he meant because obviously I do everything "the right way" and he pointed out the fact that I treat many household chores like a Jenga game that inevitably leave Mark cleaning up a huge nightmare. Exhibit A: The trash. I don't know why but I Just always feel like one more thing can fit. Exhibit B: The dishes. I hate putting dishes away so I will continually stack the clean ones into tall impressive towers. Exhibit C: Transition piles of clothes. These are the clothes that I have only wore once so they don't seem that dirty, but they are not clean enough to go back in the closet so I build really tall unsteady clothing monuments on my dresser. Exhibit D: Mail, I LOVE mail piles and I hate to throw things away. So I guess I still have things to learn as well. Marriage is such a fun and crazy adventure  and I couldn't imagine braving it with anyone other than my hunky husband. <3