The Busy Days

Oh my it is so very hard to keep up with everything I want to accomplish as well as blog about them now that I am not on Christmas vacation! Especially now that my cheerleading coaching has begun which takes up about three evenings each week and serving at church for AVL and hosting a small group which takes up several hours each week as well. This leaves little time to spend with family, friends, catch up phone calls, exercise, take care of the apartment, cook, sleep well enough to be productive and patient with the children at school and have face to face time with my husband. Some weeks it is so overwhelming to think about all the responsibilities I have.  Sometimes I catch myself getting anxious and worrying about the future and beating myself up thinking "if I cannot handle all of this with a perfect smile, then I will never be able to have kids or take care of a house"! But I know that this way of thinking is not helpful, is a lie, and will only put unnecessary doubt into my mind. I know that taking on extra work right now is actually a privilege and that it is helping me reach some of those long term goals that are so important to me. I am so grateful that God has purposefully placed me in this city, in the school district, in this church community, in my apartment, in my marriage and in my friendships. So many things that have happened to me to create the life that I have right now seem to have come together so perfectly, so perfectly that no one could ever convince me it is "random chance" or "karma" or that I am "deserving". I have not lived a spotless life and I know that I continually struggle with all kinds of sin that tries to creep into my life. The biggest changes have happened over the last three years when I have been working to completely surrender my life to following Christ. Totally letting go, trusting in His plan and trying to the best of my ability to follow through with the work needed to achieve the goals set before me. Sometimes it has been crazy. I signed up for my masters program because of a "feeling" I had, I really felt like I was being told to do it, I signed up two days before the program started without knowing very much about it at all. I moved out on my own without having a solid plan of how I was going to pay all my own bills each month, I lost my job, got a new better job that required me to move away from my family and friends, experienced heart ache like I never imagined possible, fell in love with and married the most amazing man, became involved with a church that has captured my heart and have developed a deep genuine love for Christ. God provided every time. He has constantly made a way for me where I couldn't see any way through. I have so much joy and hope in my life right now. I know that God has called people to experience and do crazier things than what I have experienced but I am continually thinking of God's plan for my life. I feel so confident in living a life that is continually pursuing Him. The greatest of all these changes is definitely marrying Mark. It is a relationship unlike anything I ever knew could exist. He is loving and generous and all of those good things you want in a spouse but he is also good at dong the difficult things. He absolutely sharpens me, humbles me and helps me to stay focused on God. He helps me keep my attitude and temper in check and encourages me when I lose sight of everything I am working for. He gives the best hugs and also knows how to gently kick me out the front door to go to the gym :). He challenges me all the time to be the best possible version of myself and I am so grateful for that. (Of course that is easy to say right now but not always in the midst of him "helping" me).

I am thankful for the obstacles in my life that are ultimately blessings and I pray that I will have more perspective when tough things happen in the future. I am also praying for a joyful heart and a servant's attitude when I am walking through each day and I start to get fatigued, selfish and feel weak. Any prayers for me to persevere through the busy days would be so appreciated.

:)