January 3, 2013 A new year and a fresh start!

As I think over my long list of things I want to accomplish this year and do with my life I can't help but wonder if I will stick with everything or let my goals fizzle out like some over the years because life gets too hard and circumstances get too tough and things become less prioritized. It is my hope that by blogging about my goals and progress I will be more accountable to following through. I have been so inspired lately by friends, family and God's word to really push myself this year and to raise the bar of responsibility in my life. Although I am 27, I still often feel like I am in some transition period and I am only 21; but I am living independently of my parents, have a full time job and I am married. I am really truly a grown up and many of my goals are to help me update my lifestyle to be more fulfilling.

I am working full time as a teacher in a wonderful school district where I work with gifted students grades 1-4, it is an amazing job and I love going to work everyday whether I show it or not. (I need to work on that). I also coach middle school cheerleading in my district. I am recently married to a wonderful, hardworking loving man. (Again whether I show it or not :)) I am also working on making my health a priority in my life as I have just kind of been floating along feeling OK about how I look and feel, not ever putting too much effort into my body and wearing big sweaters on chubby feeling days. I know I can certainly do better in this department. Lastly the biggest and most important change in my life has been my involvement in my church and my dedication to living a life that is focused on God's plan and searching His word. Again, I have just kind of been doing the minimum attending Bible studies, volunteering to help run sound and presentation and attending Sunday mornings. I worked on being able to tithe this year and it has drastically changed my life and how I prioritize my finances, it is wonderfully freeing!

I have found that my time, money, stress, pleasure and goals are all best managed when I am trying to live my life the way God calls us to in scripture. When I am physically fit and rested I am more productive as a teacher, wife and homemaker. So then why do I want to come home from work and crash in front of the tv like a zombie until I fall asleep wake up drooling and then want to scarf down a bag of chips and reheat coffee from the morning to "rewake" me up? I often think to myself how do people ever have kids when I can hardly get myself through an entire day feeling productive. And I DO want children by the way. Why would I rather watch 5 episodes of Desperate Housewives than sit and read my Bible and meditate on God's word? Why do I spend so much of my time thinking about what other people think of me rather than focusing on having a servants heart and loving others always? Why is it easier to disagree with my husband and point out his flaws than it is to lift him up, support him and show him genuine love and appreciation that I feel? All of these point to one thing: selfishness. It is easier to sleep than work, it is easier to eat junk food to quickly jump start my body and mind for a couple hours at a time, it is easier to be mindless in front of a screen than it is to examine my own life and it is easier to be confrontational and full of pride than it is to lay down my rights and put my husband's feelings before my own. I am very selfish if I boil it all down! The good thing is that God loves me in spite of my selfishness and he has new mercy and grace for me each day. I really feel like he has been speaking to me lately to step things up in my life, take the focus off of myself and my want for pleasure in the moment so I can invest in long term things that may be less than comfortable right now. My biggest punch in the face by God to wake up was this past Sunday at church where a friend and worship leader at my church spoke on the use of time. He only speaks about once a year and it was crazy how relevant his topic was for me. You can listen to Neal's message here: http://www.hopechristianchurch.com/index.php/sermons/by-date/audio/93-time I decided I wanted to make some major changes in my life but I wasn't sure how to make sure I stick with it. I have been praying about it and I felt like God was calling me to share with others and blog about "all the good stuff". I think this will be a great way to approach changing as I have so much good stuff in my life as a result of following his word as well as dark patches in my past full of brokenness and heartache from when I tried to do things my own way and failed. Here is some of the good stuff that has happened over the past couple of weeks/months that are a huge motivation for me:

* I began training for a half marathon because I miserably fail at working out without a big end goal. Also my roomie from college did it and she is amazing so I want to try it too!
* I have really begun hacking away at my/our (but mostly my because its huge) debt. By trying to think of money in the way God explains and really scrutinizing needs and wants I have been able to do some downsizing in life that is getting me more financially on track than ever before. All while I am giving away over a tenth of what we earn (which was really hard at first but now with a changed heart I view finances much differently). I also have an actually savings account for the first time in my life with money in it. It is not a lot of money, but it exists and we hope to buy a house sometime this year so I hope to grow it!
* My husband and I became leaders of a small group at church that we host in our home every other week to get together with other Christians who are commited to the group and we study the Bible together, discuss our lives and ask really tough questions. It has been a blessing in so many ways. I am so proud of my husband for taking on the task of planning each of our meetings.
* I have been researching, and by researching I mean watching way to many documentaries than is good for me about what I put into my body and have found that I could stand to make some significant changes. I also had a blood test done this fall as part of a routine physical and they found less than desirable amounts of bad cholesterol and borderline high triglycerides. (I blame the Halloween candy I had been eating like a crazy person that week but anyways...) I thought I had been eating mostly lean meats and veggies but after keeping a food journal for a week I found that my diet was actually a lot more of coffee, cheese alone and chips with cheese and popcorn with cheese. Wouldn't you know cheese is high in all the bad stuff in my blood, not to mention does horrible things to my stomach (why do I crave it so badly!? It is delicious! :))
* I have been purchasing non caustic, more natural cleaning, beauty and health products and have found a significant reduction in my skin sensitivity and how often I get sick. It seems small but it has made a big difference.
* Also, being married. It might sound cheesy but wow what a difference having a loving husband who first serves God then me has been. He is such an amazing leader and has helped me to want to make positive changes in my life without pointing out my flaws and with gentleness. He always puts my happiness and health before himself, he is so level headed and calm and he embraces everything about me even the parts that are unlike him.
* I was asked if I was "expecting". Yup an adult asked me if I was pregnant and she was totally serious. Although it seems strange to put this into my category of "good stuff" it actually was the straw on the camel's back to motivate me to make some huge changes. After an evening of bawling into my pillow and sobbing into my huband's shirt completely covering it in mascara and and having a pity-fest I decided to channel all that ickiness into running for better health. I have put on close to 15 pounds since July 2012 when I got married, I guess that's what wedded bliss does to you :)!

So based on these foundations of "good stuff" here is what I would like to accomplish this year:

- run a half marathon, possibly train for a full
- get get my body into better shape and health (lets be honest every other time has been to look skinny/sexy not for health) not that looking good won't be welcome.
- pay off 1/10 of my debt
- eat more whole foods and try for a more plant based diet with far less cheese :)
- spend time with God every day, more than a quick prayer in the car or praying while dozing off to sleep.
- actually living my life more like Jesus. I don't want people to know that I am a Christian just because I'm busy on Sundays, rather because something in me is different and how I live my life is different. This includes doing all acts of service and work with a cheerful giving heart and being more positive in general.
- Blogging on my progress and challenges.

So there it is, all of my good stuff, things I want to change and what I am going to do about it. The truth is it will never get any easier. Not when I have a house, not when I have kids. Never. Now is the time to make changes. I have the choice of what I put in my body, if I exercise my body, how I spent my time and how I treat others. No excuses. It is a wonderful freedom that I have these choices and I need to take advantage of that. Here is to hoping that this year will be just as blessed if not more than all the others. I will keep you posted on all the good stuff (and probably the bad, tough, crappy stuff too)! :)